What Have I become?
Is it a failure?
Or Is it bad luck?
Or am I incompetent?
I have become the person
That I feared the most.

The one who would do
His homework the same day
Now is unable to understand
The question itself.
What Have I become?

The one who would kill
Himself at the thought of
Not attending classes
Now gets goosebumps at
The thought of going to one of them.

The one who aced all exams
Now glances at the
Risk of repeating a course.
What Have I become?

The one who would give
Anything to bounce back
After a failure, now lives in
The shadows of other people.

The one who studied even while
He was travelling
Now asks for the syllabus
An hour before the exam.

The lad who was sure
About his decisions
Now doubts whether
He can ever be sure in life.

The one who would surprise
Himself with his achievements
Now is not surprised
By his failures.

What Have I become?
Can I ever get back
To my old self?
I have become the person
That I feared the most.

© Rakesh Bal.